A few years ago, on a morning like any other, I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life.
As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a New York City bus, I saw that the years were slipping by.
"What do I want from life?" I asked myself. "Well...I want to be happy."
I
had many reasons to be happy: My husband was the tall, dark, handsome
love of my life; we had two delightful girls; I was a writer, living in
my favorite city.
I had friends; I had my health; I didn't have to color my hair. But too often I sniped at my husband or the drugstore clerk.
I
felt dejected after even a minor professional setback. I lost my temper
easily. Is that how a happy person would act? Real Simple: How to make
positive changes in your life
I decided on the spot to begin a
systematic study of happiness. (A little intense, I know. But that's the
kind of thing that appeals to me.)
In the end, I spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and tips from popular culture.
If I followed all the advice, I wanted to know, would it work?
Well,
the year is over, and I can say: It did. I made myself happier. And
along the way I learned a lot about how to be happier. Here are those
lessons.
1. Don't start with profundities. When I began my
Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping
in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of
self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a
decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry.
Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness. Real Simple: 34 low-cost, make-you-smile ideas
2.
Do let the sun go down on anger. I had always scrupulously aired every
irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings
before bedtime.
Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock.
Expressing
anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad
feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.
3.
Fake it till you feel it. Feelings follow actions. If I'm feeling low, I
deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If
I'm feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my
feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective. Real
Simple: Small, helpful gestures with big impact
4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness.
Source: Internet
